Homophobia is so rampant and insidious that it’s reasonable to fear your wife’s reaction to such a revelation about your sexuality, though it is unclear in your letter whether she has said or done anything to warrant such suspicion or if you’re just being extra careful.
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I wouldn’t fault you for treading lightly, but if being extra careful is getting in the way of you living your life and sharing it in full with your spouse, it’s in your best interest to let go and hope for the best. You know this woman’s character-can she hang? In many relationships, it goes without saying that your attraction to others is not a reflection or a result of your partner, but depending on that person’s security and experience with nonmonogamy, this may be a point worth underlining.
I’m a 30-year-old gay trans man coming out of a divorce (I was married to a cis man), and I’m excited to be able to have the sex I’ve always wanted, that is, gay sex with other queer men.
However, I’m not sure if anyone will actually want to have sex with me. I’ve got maybe three experiences of topping, many years ago and all while wasted.
Pretty much all the sex I’ve had up til now has been bottoming for straight men as a straight woman. Will other queer men actually want to be topped by a man who’s got no idea what he’s doing? I’m pretty certain I don’t want to bottom anymore, so that’s out. Additionally, I’m 5’2” and the testosterone has given me pretty bad acne that treatment doesn’t seem to be clearing. And I’ve never been able to come with a partner! Basically, I feel like I’m bringing nothing to the table. I’ve thought about just trying my luck on hookup apps, but honestly, I feel like I at least need a chat over coffee before I have sex. Most of the sex I had before I was married was drunk. I’m not sure I’m ready to jump straight into sober hookups, and I know I don’t want to go back to drunk sex either. I think I’d be comfortable in a sexual environment like a sex party or a bathhouse but again, I feel like I’ve got nothing to offer. The answers to many of the questions you asked depend on your cultivation of confidence and presentation of it. Since confidence is often something accrued from experience, there may need to be an initial degree of faking it till you make it. But to your last question-“Will anyone even take me seriously as a top even if I do get the skills, given my height and lack of a built-in cock?”-my answer is a resounding yes.
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All rights reserved.A good top, in my opinion, knows how to listen, take charge, and deliver pleasure at the right speed and intensity.Īs Alexander Cheeves, a bottom who has had sex with trans men tops, pointed out a few years ago in the Advocate: “There’s more to being a top than having a penis and putting it somewhere. ™ & © 2022 Cable News Network, Inc., a WarnerMedia Company. Top image caption: Donatella Versace and Cher pose together at a fund-raising gala in December 1997 at New York’s Metropolitan Museum of Art. In a tweet about the Versace collaboration, Cher wrote, “Special (love) 2 amazing son Chaz.”Ī portion of sale proceeds from June will go towards Gender Spectrum, a charity which aims to create safe environments and provide support resources for gender-diverse children and teenagers. In that same interview she opened up about her son Chaz Bono’s gender identity, saying that it “wasn’t easy” when he announced he was transitioning in 2009. “That was my (introduction to) the gay world,” she said, adding that “gay people don’t feel like they fit in, and I never felt like I fit in.” They were doing their hair and talking, and I was thinking, ‘Why haven’t we ever had these kind of guys around? Because these guys are the coolest,” she recalled in a 2020 interview with CNN’s Christiane Amanpour. “One day I came home and there were these two men in my living room with my mom and my aunt. “It just felt right for our very first collaboration to be one about LGBTQ Pride and celebrating a community that means so incredibly much to both of us.”Ĭher has long been considered both an ally and an icon for many in the LGBTQ community, tracing her affinity back to a childhood memory. “Donatella and I have been dear friends for a lifetime,” Cher said in a press release.